*To discern people*
Thoughts of someone close are like treasures that we keep deep ensconced inside our souls. I think truly knowing someone or allowing someone to know you has a lot to do with being comfortable, transparent, and open. Life is but a series of moments and sequences, where we meet numerous people in our journey. Human relationships are too complex and varied to fathom ,emotional turbulence undergone by someone. Some people we meet along the way create positive vibes. Some people you get to know better, and quicker, than others. Some of them are easy to read. Some are hidden behind their own thick emotional walls. In most cases, you need time and patience to let the veil come out.
It seems to touch our souls forever. After being friends with someone on social media or in real life, can we say that we are well acquainted with their journey in life? Do we really know each other well? Everybody fights their own battles. At one point or another, we were really surprised by them. You can never judge just by looking, how good someone's life actually is. Through their problems, some things really surprise us. Maybe the person you think life is fairer to, has had problems that you have no idea about. Maybe he deals with them differently. Maybe he hides them better. Maybe he ignores them, and then suffers in a completely different way, for a completely different reason. Pain is proof that you're alive. Without pain, there can be no lessons.
Life is fortuitous by nature and therefore nobody can predict who will go through what kind of suffering at what stage of his/her life. We can control/reduce our pain/suffering to a certain extent by controlling our thought processes (positivity and rationality). People change; they evolve, and most people are forever changing and growing. However, people can do the opposite, they can regress, addiction can take over their lives, and melancholy, grief, or illness can alter the person they once were. The reality is, we don’t know each other at all. We don’t talk, we don’t share, and we don’t open up about the demons haunting us. Relationships are not like pages, which you can fill at will. Once you get into it, it’s hard to break away from it. Every heart has pain. Only the way of expressing it is different. Some hide it in their eyes, while the brilliant ones hide it in their smiles. When you are around someone so much, for so long, they become a part of you. And when they change or go away, you don’t know who you are without them.
Our body and personality are also like river rivulets, always changing. When everything is going well, there is no stimulus for one’s true character to reveal itself. Yes, because two people who are very close to each other or those with exceptional powers of observation, experience in reading people and insights can do a total breakdown of another person they have watched at close quarters. We are continually learning new things about each other, even people very close to us, at a relative level, by interacting and relating to them (much more than by learning information about them). But at a deeper level, we never really know each other because everyone is a mystery.
So even if life were to give you more pain than the guy next door, it would make you emerge as a much wiser and more experienced person, which is your advantage. So life is fair to you, because you gain from more pain. Believe in the happiness that you're capable of spreading. Focus on the beauty of life. Which is mostly accidental, combined with the implications of our thoughts and actions. We can come out of this pain by trying to understand the root cause of the pain logically, changing our mindset to look at the bigger picture in everything, and most importantly, learning to accept reality and lowering our expectations.
Personalities remain relatively fixed, actions can be predictable based on personalities; and you can both know someone and barely know them at all. And why? Because it would be a shame to judge me today by the man that you met one year ago. I'm not in that place anymore. A river is a continuously flowing entity, and its water changes every moment. Until the day comes where you can switch bodies and minds with someone, you’ll never fully get to know anyone. What’s really important and essential to long lasting healthy relationships (with partners, friends, family, etc.) is just being supportive, even when we may not understand. That’s all that matters.
That’s wonderful because it makes life much more interesting and fun. People change, they evolve, and most people are forever changing and growing. However, people can do the opposite, they can regress, addiction can take over their lives, and depression, grief, or illness can alter the person they once were. The reality is, we don’t know each other at all. We don’t talk, we don’t share, and we don’t open up about the demons haunting us. There’s no way for us to be there for each other if we don’t know what to be there for.
No, because certain situations that expose hidden traits may not come about at all, leaving us in the dark about some sides of some people. Yes, because some people are indeed open books, and they prefer to lead their lives like that. No, because some people rarely venture with their emotional sides and play their cards very close to their chest.
Do we really know each other? Save your hidden wonderment and splendor for those willing to dive deep with you. ' One thing I notice once you get to this level of closeness with someone is that there are no awkward silences. There are times when you could just be walking with them or hanging out, and no one has anything to say. But it’s a comfortable silence. It’s a mutually understood silence. Human relationships are too complex and varied to describe. Some people you get to know better, and quicker, than others. Some of them are easy to read. Some are hidden behind their own thick emotional walls. In most cases, you need time and patience to discern about their personality traits.
But, now and then, you meet one person or another that touches you in that particular way, after one meeting or one long conversation. You go away carrying a piece of that person, maybe because it looks similar to your own, or because it fits your own perfectly. You feel that you have known that person for a long time.
Sunil Kumar Pathak Concluded
