The Kanyadan:Emotional Journey
The wedding of a daughter is not only about "Saat Fere"(Satapadi) but it is the start of a life-long journey and the very beginning of a long conversation with life.Kanyadan is one of the most misunderstood rituals of Sanatan Dharma. The ceremony grants a special meaning to this ritual. It is not a donation of adaughter by the father . But it symbolizes transfer of responsibility and care of daughter from her family to the groom.
Marriage is a voyage of discovery and carved out of millions of tiny moments that create its own story. After "Kanyadaan"a girl moves out of her personal sanctuary to an altogether new space. It is a life-altering journey for a daughter; it also means a transition at the emotional and mental level. There is an inherent quality in girls to adapt and adjust to any situation easily. Like plants they grow and blossom in a new environment. In our hindu tradition marriage is considered as a ‘union of two families and the families 👪 are made in the heart.
Marriage ushers in responsibilities for individuals, when they start a new journey in an intended life-long partnership, and how they manage to make it work. It’s when individuals move from a ringside view of public life to being in the ring itself.
A Journey daughter's : From Wedding Day to Lifetime Adventure
The bond that a father and daughter share is beyond words and cannot be expressed. The father is always the protector and the one who pampers his daughter. A father is the one who lets her do the things at her will. No matter how independent a woman is, she will love to be her fathers' little princess. And no matter how old a father and daughter get, the bonding always stays strong between them.
But more often than not, we take this bond for granted. And then the moment arrives when the father has to make her daughter cross "Dahleej"( दहलीज) of her home during "Vidaii and give away his daughter to another man. This moment is inevitable and both know but, it takes for both of them to realize how much they'll miss each other throughout their life. How much daughter will miss moments of togetherness with family since childhood. She will always remember the piggyback on her father, when she was too small to look at the world, and how much he'll miss holding her hand and guiding her through her life. Finally the entire emotions one can feel in their heart come pouring out of their eyes.
She will realise that all the years spent safe under her father's shadow are coming to an end. When the feeling will finally dawn that the first man of her life isn't going to be around anymore in her new journey of life.
Now she will be starting a new journey of her life. From now on they won't be meeting each other on a daily basis. The last hug before she gets married. One never imagined that this would be so emotional.
A marriage of a daughter is like a "Yagya" ceremony and due to the plethora of work to be performed and emotion attached with the daughter and her parting .It's not easy to keep one's emotions and cool. Marriage of a daughter is certainly a big change in life, which involves challenges, compromises and emotional upheaval
When you give her away, all you can do is trust the next man to keep her as happy as you did.When you know that you have done your part, and there's another man standing to take your coveted place.
A grand Indian wedding is not just about a couple getting married. It is about countless vows of love and spending a lifetime together, the happiness on everyone’s face, uniting and bonding families and having all your friends beside you wishing you all the best. It's a day when a lot of memories weave through our thoughts and two hearts merge into one. It's a day to celebrate happiness, have fun, and show love to everyone.
The wedding day marks the beginning of a lengthy discourse with life as well as the commencement of a lifelong journey for a daughter. In that journey a daughter embarks a conversation with life where she builds unique stories of beautiful moments.
A marriage journey of a daughter’s exploration is made up of millions of little moments and each have a unique tale. A girl relocates to a whole new environment, leaving their personal haven behind. For them, it's a voyage that will change their lives and entail an emotional and mental shift. One thing is good that girls have an innate ability to readily adapt to any circumstance. Similar to plants, they adapt well to new surroundings and flourish & blossom. It is believed that marriage is the "unification of two families, and the families 👩 are made in the heart."
When two people get married, they embark on a new adventure in what is meant to be a lifelong partnership, and how they manage to make it work becomes their responsibility. It’s when individuals move from a ringside view of public life to being in the ring itself.
The bond that a father and daughter share is beyond words and defies illustration in words. The father is always the protector and the one who pampers his daughter. A father is the one who lets her do the things at her will. No matter how independent a woman is, she will love to be her fathers' little princess. And no matter how old a father and daughter get, the bonding always stays strong between them.
But more often than not, they both take this bond for granted. And then the moment arrives when the father has to make her daughter cross "Dahleej"( दहलीज) of her home and give away his daughter to another man. This moment is inevitable and both know but, it takes for both of them to realize how much they will miss each other throughout their life. They both know that this day is coming, yet it still takes time for them to fully comprehend how much they will miss one another in the years to come, how much daughter will miss moments of togetherness with family since childhood. She will always remember the piggybacked on her father, when she was too small to look at the world, and how much he will miss holding her hand and guiding her through her life. Finally the entire emotions one can feel in their heart come pouring out of their eyes. When a father bids Vidaai or "goodbye" to her daughter, he is actually sending her off on a new journey.
She will realise that all the years spent safe under her father's shadow are coming to an end. When the feeling will finally dawn that the first man of her life isn't going to be around anymore in her new journey of life.
Now she will be starting a new journey of her life. From now on they won't be meeting each other on a daily basis. The Vidai (विदाई) is the last hug before she leaves for her new abode. One never imagined that this would be so emotional.
A daughter's marriage is comparable to a "Yagya" ceremony because of the abundance of effort involved and the feelings associated with the daughter and her leaving. It’s difficult to remain composed and emotionally stable during the run of rituals of marriage.
When a father gives her daughter to a new man, all he can do is to trust him to keep her as happy as he did. The father knows that he has done his part, and there's another man waiting.
The Flashback
It's not the goodbye that hurts,but the flashback that follows. When you are apart from someone you love,the memories that you shared and weaved will linger in your mind forever.
That is the reason when goodbyes come to an end,we try to hold on as much as we can because sometimes life brings us loads of memories and blesses us to live those memories like a dream and once those memories become special,like we never thought of becoming ,we just don't want them to end.
That’s what Indian weddings are made of.
By-Sunil Kumar Pathak
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